I told one of my young clients, “You sing great - but more than vocal lessons, you need work on building a stronger self confidence.”
Each of us needs more areas in our life where we can say – “I did great with that - I am so proud of myself.”
More secure types of people do not need the approval of others. A person with strong self confidence is likely to get on Facebook and say: "I cooked a really great dinner tonight - I was happy it turned out so well - everyone raved about it" Or maybe they would slip on a sports coat, look into a mirror and say, “I look great in this coat”.
We ALL have areas in life that we feel more secure and confident in than others. I help people to develop more confidence in themselves at Toastmasters. It is a wonderful organizartion. I have seen a very competent, confident, successful CPA, shake and stumble and become extremely nervous - so nervous in fact, that he said he felt like he was going to through up. When did this happen? It happened when he got up to make little a 5 minute speech in front of 10 people. I have seen this same thing happen with very successful top money earners in Real Estate, Banking, Attorneys at Law, and I have witnessed it with very successful business owners as well. It is said that one thing people fear most, besides dying, is standing up to speak in front of a group of people.
Very good singers, artists and musicians are oftentimes insecure. And we seek the approval of others. It seems we need it. Research I have read shows that 90% of a child’s personality is formed by age seven. Approval seeking starts very early in life - "Daddy look at the picture I drew for you" Mommy look at me - I can ride my bike now!"
As we get bit older we seek the approval of the opposite sex. When we get married we are still looking for it. I have been bragging on my wife's cooking now for 30 years.However still she seeks approval. Many times, after the dinners guests are gone, and we are alone - she has said, "I know you said during dinner that it was good, but do you really think it was good?" We are all that way at times about something.
To develop a stronger self confidence, I would recommend starting with some great books I know about personally:
The Little Engine that Could
The Power of Positive Thinking
How to Win Friends and Influence People
A very wealthy wise man once told me, “If you want to be healthy, study books good health. If you want to be a Christian, study the Bible. If you want to be rich, study books about wealth. Most people won’t read though. Only 3 % of Americans have a library card. It’s a sad fact that the person who needs to a book about saving money, and doing wise things with money, is least likely to read it.” Then he said, “Don’t let that be you. You be different. Go buy the book and read!” I will never forget that little short conversation with the late Jim Rohn.
I typed this into Google book to build self confidence - click that link and you’ll see that the search engine giant sent me to an Amazon page with 35 books listed about gaining or instilling self confidence. Look those over and get started today on a more confident you.
Mr C